Ask me if I’m gay and I’ll respond quickly with a “yes if you didn’t already know”. Ask me if I’m Christian or believe in God and I’m not sure how to respond. Why is that?
Religion, politics, and apparently Beyoncé are things that are difficult to talk about if your views are different from others. I’m not sure when I decided to believe in a higher power. I just knew that this is what I was expected to do…or else. Being told that I would spend an eternity in hell under the earth scared me. Eternity and hell? Oh no. I did as I was told and said nothing else for quite some time.
Watching my mother kneel down and pray as soon as we got to our seats. She would cry, fall out, and be covered in white sheets. I never understood why and why this Holy Spirit never took over me. Was there something wrong with me? Was I not good enough to feel the spirit?
As I grew older and never felt that spirit I started having questions upon questions. Is all this real? If this is all real why don’t I feel it no matter how much I pray and read this good book? I’m still having feelings for men and still no attraction to women. I believe I don’t want to be gay no more. I want to be delivered. Years later I would become comfortable enough not only with my sexuality but not feeling obligated to believe in something I’m not sure about.
When people ask me if I believe in God or if I’m a Christian I almost freeze up. I freeze because I don’t wanna offend anyone or have somebody think I’m crazy or demonic. I’m 28 years old and I don’t think I wanna live my life being scared of something sentencing me to fire and brimstone. I’m not crazy, I just don’t know if I believe in God or any higher power. I believe in something, I’m just not sure what it is. Maybe years in the church have done this to me. Or maybe it’s because I’m a black gay man who doesn’t feel protected in this world. I have to deal with all of these things and I have no control over them. Who put this on me and why?
I attended a conference last month and on the last day we prayed. They prayed and praised the Lord for almost an hour. A room full of gay black men with strong faith. No matter how badly the church treated them, no matter how the scriptures were used against them–they still believed. A man next to me cried so much snot came out of his nose. I just looked at him. I felt like I was in the place again where everybody was feeling this spirit but me. But then again, I left that life a long time ago.
Explaining to someone that I am not Christian is difficult for a black man in the south. I get the looks something is wrong with me. This is why I freeze up. I’m not sure if I’m not ready to have this conversation or if it’s any of their business.
It seems as though they want to know why I don’t believe in God but when I ask why they believe in what they believe it’s looked as disrespect. Some of them can’t even figure out why they do what they do. They just do it.
‘Ru Paul’s Drag Race’ Star Chi Chi DeVayne Passes Away at 34-Years-Old
Zavion Davenport, better known as RuPaul’s Drag Race’s Chi Chi DeVayne has died at the young age of 34, fellow alum Trinity K. Bonet confirmed on Instagram today.
The Drag Race contestant had been diagnosed with scleroderma, also called crest syndrome, back in 2018.
Fans and other contestants of the show had been sharing the DeVayne’s payment information to assist with the overwhelming cost of hospital bills. Shea Coulee and Priyanka had been especially involved in raising funds for their fellow alum.
‘Real Housewives of Potomac’ star Candiace Dillard Makes Fatphobic Comment Towards Blogger and Suggest That He “Drop Dead”
*deep negro spiritual sigh* There are very few things that truly anger me. Somehow, Candiace, a woman whose mouth seems to get her beat up often, has found one of those few buttons with her latest statement.
So, here I am, minding my fat ass business when I see this:
Rumor has it that she was talking about Kyle from The Black Socialites. It really doesn’t matter who she was talking about, but I guess we’ll never know because she didn’t have the courage to say a name. She did have the courage, however, to talk about her involvement with “plots” against other cast members. She was able to talk for two hours, under the glow of her pale husband’s flickering TV screen, about absolutely nothing of substance.
There are uprisings happening, a pandemic happening, but she’s worried about “plotting” in the DMV. We just passed the 6th anniversary of Michael Brown’s death. That’s in her backyard. That’s a pain that she should be deconstructing. Instead she chooses to attack a fat Black man who is working hard to bring her show press.
I’ll end with the victim’s words, and we can all go back to not knowing Candiace exists:
Trump Administration Cuts Protections for Transgender Americans
On Friday, the Trump administration announced it would be rolling back an Obama-era rule protecting transgender Americans from discrimination in health care.
Under the Obama administration, Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act expanded the definition of sex discrimination to include discrimination based on one’s gender identity. Under a revised version of the rule, the Department of Health and Human Services will enforce Section 1557 “by returning to the government’s interpretation of sex discrimination according to the plain meaning of the word ‘sex’ as male or female and as determined by biology” beginning in mid-August. In other words, doctors and insurance companies receiving funding from the Fed can legally refuse any patient needing transition-related medical care.
Of course, as quickly as the rule was finalized, many LGBTQ+ organizations including the ACLU,announced intentions to sue the Trump administration over this new language. “The Trump admin has issued a rule that will embolden health care discrimination against transgender people.. All while a global pandemic is occurring.” said the ACLU in a tweet.
Forget a global pandemic, ACLU. Friday’s announcement came on the fourth anniversary of the Pulse nightclub tragedy, a mass shooting at a popular Florida gay nightclub that left 49 people and the shooter dead.
President Trump has made it clear how he feels about the nearly 1.4 million transgender people in this country, his fellow Americans – he doesn’t feel anything.