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Message to Allies: How Not to be a Weirdo During Pride Month

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It’s that time again – Pride! In remembrance of the LGBTQIA+ community who sparked a nation-wide gay rights movement after the Stonewall uprising in the late 1960s, you might already have noticed that sections of your town or city are decorated with rainbow flags and welcome signs, streets and sidewalks are painted with rainbows, your baseball team may even be wearing rainbow-colored socks (which their bigoted fans are currently arguing on the internet about). If you aren’t seeing signs of Pride month in your town, you need to move far, far away because you live in a sad, sad place. But I digress…

All month, there are Pride-related events – festivals and parades and parties and drag shows. As an ally, you may want to attend these events, and you probably feel pretty proud of yourself for all your “wokeness,” which means you have no clue about just how problematic and down-right annoying you are. As an ally and a former weirdo at Pride events, let me offer you some advice so you don’t have to make the same mistakes I did.

Noah Berger/Associated Press

No matter how many books you’ve read, how many podcasts you’ve listened to, and how many Tumblr pages you’ve double-tapped, you’re still problematic.

You just have to accept the fact that you are problematic. No, you aren’t as problematic as the guy white women and men voted into the White House, but you’ve probably still got a little learning to do. Kudos to you for educating yourself, questioning your beliefs, and trying to be a better person — you should feel proud of yourself – however, there are just some things you will get wrong, and it’s okay. If somebody checks you about it, take the lesson, nod, smile and grow from it.

You’re a guest, so act accordingly.

At many of these Pride events, a good time will be had by all. There will be plenty of Beyoncé, some good ole fashioned twerking and voguing, and you are going to want to join in the fun. You should, but remember, ain’t nobody come to see your straight-ass duck-walk, so chill.

I get it, you're excited & want to be supportive, but remember, the LGBTQIA+ community has been getting on fine without you since Moses parted the sea. One of the best things you can do as an ally is to let people live in peace. Click To Tweet

You’re a straight, we get it, now be quiet.

You are in a space populated by everyone on the sexual identity spectrum, and the assumption is that your sexual identity does too. If your sexual identity is firmly planted at cisgender hetero, that’s all well and fine. It is quite okay to be okay with that. However, don’t spend the day announcing to everyone that you are a straight. I know you think it’s cute or whatever, but it’s not. Ugh, I am literally cringing as I write this reflecting on how stupid I was. Woooo chile…the ghetto!

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I remember when I first heard the word Trade. I happened to be a Pride event, and I was so intrigued. I was so curious that I proceeded to spend the rest of the day grilling my lovely companion about the history and origin of Trade. If that wasn’t bad enough, I then proceeded to point out every gentleman to verify if he would be considered Trade. Imagine you are at a party having a good time and your weirdo friend keeps tapping your shoulder pointing out men asking, “Oh, oh, is he one? With the baseball cap and the sagging pants? He’s Trade, right?” I was so clueless, just a whole mess. It was cute that I learned a new word, but Pride events are not the place to get your education (unless you’re at an educational workshop, which I was not). Chances are you will hear some new word or lingo that you aren’t familiar with; it is okay to be curious. My advice – create a new document on your Notes app, type the word down for research purposes later and keep the party going. Don’t stop the good time trying to learn some shit.

Photo Credit: Eric Cash

Don’t be a cliché

It is inevitable that you will be overcome with the sheer fabulosity of it all. Before you can stop yourself, the ‘Yesssssss Queeeeeeen’ is going to jump out of you. Sometimes, this is appropriate like at a drag show, a contest, or maybe a performance. Please don’t be that person that ‘Yesssssss Queeeeeeeen’’s every boy in a belly shirt and booty shorts you pass. A compliment is fine, but don’t be a weirdo about it. There is a huge difference. People get all dressed up to be noticed, not to be your spectacle, feel me?

Allyship is a slippery slope. It’s a thin line between being an ally and a weirdo, believe me, I’ve crossed it more times than I care to admit. Mostly, we are well-meaning people, but being an ally is a process. It’s about taking ownership over building trust with the community we wish to align ourselves with, and this requires consistency, accountability, and yes, a little humility. And I get it, you are excited, and you want to be so supportive, but remember, the LGBTQIA+ community has been getting on fine without you since Moses parted the sea, and one of the best things you can do as an ally is to just let people live in peace.

What other tips can you share to make people better allies?

 

Featured Image Photo by Ylanite Koppens from Pexels

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Entertainment

The Diversity JUMPED out: Savage x Fenty Fashion Show Gave us all the Inclusion we Needed

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Last night Savage x Fenty by Rihanna ended New York Fashion Week with a bang! The lingerie brand had an array of women from different skin tones to body types. Rih wanted to show the world that ANYONE can wear Savage x Fenty and feel sexy. There were even pregnant models featured in the show. Yes, pregnant. Get into the models and event down below:

 

Rihanna is taking the fashion industry by storm. Let’s hope other fashion brands can follow suit.

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Lawrence Makes His Way Back to Insecure and Leaves Us SHOOK

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Lawrence must’ve had a seasonal positional at Best Buy because he is back but will he be in a full-time employee in Issa’s life?

Insecure delivered one of the most sickening episodes with “High-Like” episode 4, and not because they brought back breaking couch potato, Lawrence. It was the conversation about friendships and how things change. Dealing with real situations and how friends can all have something going on but also come to support one another. But for some of us seeing Lawrence made us wet and how us wondering why since we didn’t want to see him anymore.

The last 2 minutes as Issa walks in 7-Eleven after trying to assure Tiffany that things will be the same after she has her baby. Tiffany seems to be reluctant that it will be. Issa walks into the store to get some water and runs into Chad the Bluetooth wearing real estate agent. As she looked over to her left (in my Tweet voice) their goes Lawrence looking so good without a mustache OH MY! Issa’s looks as if she is excited and Chad’s mood is all of us!

Take a look at some of the reactions from Twitter as some said: “To hell with Lawrence!”

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Black People Stay Winning! Tiffany Haddish & Katt Williams Win Emmys!

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Tiffany Haddish made history last year for the being the first black female comedienne to host “Saturday Night Live.” Her performance garnered her a Creative Emmy for “best guest actress in a comedy.” During her SNL episode, Haddish addressed the hot button issue of sexual assault in Hollywood. It’s great that Haddish was able to bridge the gap between comedy and current events and get an Emmy for it! Haddish beat out Maya Rudolph, Jane Lynch, Tina Fey, and Wanda Sykes.

Another Emmy award winner we’re excited about is Katt Williams. The comedian won “best guest actor in a comedy” for his appearance on FX’s “Atlanta.” Katt Williams played Earn’s Uncle Willy and stole the show. This is great news because Williams career has gone through its ups and downs along with his personal life. With the Netflix special and this Emmy hopefully, this indicates that the “It’s Pimpin’ Pimpin'” comedian’s career is on an incline and we get to see him in more TV and film projects. Williams beat out Bryan Cranston, Donald Glover, Sterling K. Brown, Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Bill Hader for the award.

It’s great to see black talent that would be classified as “ghetto” or “ratchet” win Emmy awards. This goes to show that that respectability politics isn’t ruling anything over here. Black people are being their authentic selves and getting awards for it.

Are y’all here for the Emmy’s now that we’re getting awards or are they still late like always? Let us know in the comments.

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