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A Message to Bitter Black Gays Dragging Pride

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Bitter Black Gay Men who are upset and pressed about Pride–listen up! I’m calling you OUT!

Every year, the conversation of Black Gay Pride comes up on my timeline and I literally get myself prepared for the comments, videos, memes, and jokes. My favorite of all time is the “Make sure y’all pay y’all rent before y’all head to Pride.”

This weekend was Sizzle Miami & D.C Pride and both of these events are catered towards black gay men. These are spaces for black men to feel comfortable with no judgment away from individuals who take to social media every year, depressed, oppressed and stressed out that people are spending money on what they consider fun.

It’s a never-ending cycle tired jokes about everything from Walgreen’s running out of fleet to everyone attending is going to come back with an incurable STD. If you heard one joke, you’ve heard them all. You would think that half of the ones who made these jokes coins were at stake. No, the only thing at stake is their ego. The “I’m better than you because I don’t go to Pride” attitude. Gurl, let it go. Let it go. There is no minimum or maximum of gay activities that make you more or less gay. Only same-sex sexual activities make you homosexual.

Let’s not forget the fights… It doesn’t really matter if it was just 1 or 100–it’s all treated the same. Thousands of people gather for the events and all it takes is one fight video to surface, and then the girls have an excuse to say why they don’t participate. As if their credit jumps up 20 points. One fight broke out that is currently being shared all over social media and some of the kids are using it as a catalyst for not going to Pride events.

The girls were throwing everything except gas money! Ish like this happens. With so many people, personalities and alcohol, some things are bound to happen. It doesn’t mean one group is lower than other. The level of internalized racism and self-hatred that some of us suffer from unfortunately has us thinking like this. As if only black events are ratchet and ghetto. If you’ve ever been to predominately white spaces, you will see fist fights and drugs that have not made their way into the black community yet.

Before you post that bitter, wannabe elitist status or meme up, think to yourself: Is the problem Pride or is it my self-loathing personality? Pick a side, pick a side.

Let these people live. If they don’t pay their rent and head to Pride, what does it cost you? There are people who are leasing $1,000 iPhones and asking for payment arrangements. If I do go and get my back blown out, how does it harm you? What’s the difference between me having sex at home or out of town? I might just be giving you time to have the boys that you can’t have while I’m out of town.

The STD, STI, HIV jokes have got to go. The CDC puts you in the same group as any other man who sleeps with men. They don’t highlight those who do and don’t go to Pride.

If current HIV diagnoses rates persist, about 1 in 2 black men who have sex with men (MSM) and 1 in 4 Latino MSM in the United States will be diagnosed with HIV during their lifetime. (CDC)

Let me know if you see where they say that about those who attend Sizzle, D.C. Pride or Atlanta Pride. Instead of shading the girls for doing something you’re doing, focus on ways to uplift each other. Instead of sharing the ONE fight video, share a video answering common questions about sexual health. Pride is a time where the majority of old friends who have moved and haven’t seen each other in a while catch up.

A free space from judgmental looks from heterosexuals who don’t understand our culture but use it and abuse it. A time of celebrating some of the milestones we have made with being black gay men. Some are ones who were not comfortable with their sexuality until now. Artists, authors, poets, and content creators are in these spaces promoting things they love to do. Classes of all sorts are offered, from how to fight LGTB youth homelessness to better financial stability.

I love my community; I just want us to understand that we’re all in this together. I know that’s a lot to ask for, but I hope we can all understand and appreciate one another.

 

Do you see anyone like this on your TL or newsfeed? Share this message with them.

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10 Comments

10 Comments

  1. James

    May 29, 2017 at 10:54 pm

    This article fails to address the judgement received by those who are not considered commercially attractive. Black Gay pride is not free from judgement, but I guess that wouldn’t be easy to for some to see from their ivory towers.

    • mm

      JustinJ1232

      May 29, 2017 at 11:03 pm

      There is the problem with those who don’t feel attractive enough to attend. I’m one of those persons so I understand. But I’m addressing another issue. I’m addressing the slut shaming. We will get to that discussion. Thank you for your comment tho ??

      • ADG

        June 7, 2017 at 8:34 pm

        If you don’t feel attractive, isn’t that an internal self issue.? How can you go to Gay Pride, when you don’t feel proud of yourself? People treat you by the way you treat yourself.

  2. Maurice Connor

    May 30, 2017 at 1:23 am

    Justin, you really need to explore getting an editor.

  3. Percival

    May 30, 2017 at 6:18 am

    Why is it that you believe only bitter queens don’t support pride? Is that not judgmental on the part of you as the writer, people are exhausted of the black man “that ain’t never been nowhere” at pride. These people fly hundreds of miles to fight, fuck and make a fool of themselves and enforce community stereotypes. This is the reason why, my friends and I have begun to decline or the ” crafty ass promoters who just steal from their hard working community members. I would rather just go on a group trip with my Judys and be unbothered.

    • mm

      JustinJ1232

      May 30, 2017 at 10:46 am

      A hit dog will holler the loudest…

  4. SoulSinna

    May 30, 2017 at 9:43 am

    Thank you for addressing these issues. I see the complainers, yet I don’t hear of any of the work they do in solving what they consider to be issues with these events. Nothing about breaking up fights they witness. Nothing about talking to folks about safer sex practices and engaging in consensual, mutually fulfilling sexual activity. I don’t see these complainers offering to pay the rent of those who may be evicted for attending nor offering any financial planning trips for the future. When I’ve mentioned these things to complainers, all of a sudden it’s silence or pushback about how none of the above is their concern. And that they have a right to their opinion. Sigh.

    I love black gay men, but they make my ass hurt on days that end in y sometimes, and not in the way I like it either lol. That being said, I hope that we do better to and for one another. I’ve attended several Prides over the years, and have gotten my entire life. Sometimes doing stupid shit, such as not saving appropriately or throwing up from being dehydrated and drunk. But I have beautiful memories with beautiful men and some hard learned lessons that I try to pass on to those coming behind me.

    Thank you once again for this. We need to have these discussions so that we have the spaces we need for our community to be connected.

    • mm

      JustinJ1232

      May 30, 2017 at 11:16 am

      yasssssss thank you boo!!

  5. Antwan

    June 1, 2017 at 1:13 pm

    I’ve never understood the “shaming” of people who go to Pride or any other gay events. Like the author said, those who chose not to participate aren’t better because they don’t. It boils down to one simple fact….it’s none of your business if you’re not there! It doesn’t affect you in the least!

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Rumors of a recent meeting organized by QUEEN, a coalition of homosexual extremists, began swirling this morning after an alleged meeting agenda surfaced online. The document, dated Friday, January 12th, appears to outline strategies to infiltrate various sectors in an attempt to contaminate some individuals with venomous homosexuality.

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In the 1970s, two investigative journalists uncovered documents detailing the now-confirmed existence of “coercion camps”. Men between the ages of 18 and 35 have been deluded under false pretenses to attend, all having been told that extended invitations were only for elite members of society and to keep all details confidential. All men were automatically enrolled in college-level courses, much like the ones listed under agenda item E… Read more at FonzFranc.com

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Check out the explosive trailer below.

Production is looking cute!!! Looks like we have some new cast members and new tea.

To catch up on Season 1 *click here*

 

Are you excited about the new season? What vibes are you getting off the new cast?

 

Get into my recap of Season 1 and reunion below.

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