The views and opinions expressed in this post solely belong, to Goodie Proctor
Barbershops are still one of the most hyper-masculine places in America, and as much as professional barbers do not want to admit it is still a place where groups of men sit around and have closed minded, one sided conversations about homosexuality.
Now that is the very short answer to the question that @Justinj1232 posed yesterday via twitter. The long answer is something that I think most gay men do not want to admit, disclose, or and issues that they even want to tackle. I believe the underline reason that gay men don’t like barbershops is because Barbershops tend to house the type of men gay men are attracted too, seek, and ultimately go after.
I have always been somewhat afraid of getting my haircut, but not the actual clippers but the experience and ritual that came with going to get it done. Even as a young gay kid with my mother, father, or uncle sitting in the waiting area I always felt like at any given moment an alarm would sound and the guy cutting my hair would somehow discover that I was low key enjoying his bulge rubbing up against my hand whenever he turned the chair.
It was this fear of somehow being “found out”, that fuelled my fear to going to one of the most beloved staples in the black community. The fear that I would be subsequently harassed or chastised for feelings and hormones I had no control over, and did not really understand, by men I found to be the definition of attractive at that young age. It was like in my mind and with my vivid imagination I always felt like when a group of five or more uber-masculine men got together their masculine energy came together to form into some type of “Supermale”, who’s only power is to sniff out and destroy less macho or gay men….Like a damn gay bashing Captain Planet.
Nowadays my fear when it comes to going to a barbershop does not reside in getting beat up, tied, or bashed but it involves missing an opportunity to engage in a real-life episode of Baitbus “Barbershop addition”. That once vivid imagination that involved me being attacked has not been replaced with a sexual admiration of my would-be attacker. Now before anyone says anything smart let me be THE FIRST to remind everyone that I am of the flesh and that flesh is weak….tender….and is in need of a good beating sometimes 😉
In the gay community, we tend to idolize and put on a pedestal the ideals that to be attractive as a man you must be masculine, fit, and passable to our hetero brothering. Now we can argue that this is basic “trickle down genetics” yielded to us by our forefathers, and gay caveman ancestors who only sought the stronger and more dominate as our leaders and/or lovers. On the other hand, you can argue that it is just simply the media and how to be masculine in America is the cultural norm and has been for a while.
And with the barbershop being a place where masculinity is cultivated, expressed, and glorified it only makes sense that it’s a place where the gay man not only loves to frequent but also fears.
One could also argue that the barbershop will be the last great battle when it comes to the gay man being respected and accepted within the male community, ESPECIALLY in the black community where the barbershop is held as a staple and symbol of black entrepreneurship, community, and vocal candidness.
However, this respect must first come from the respect we give to ourselves.
With that being said I had to do a video response on this topic. Check it out…
What do you think we can do to fight this homophobia in the black community?
Dwyane Wade Reveals 12-Year-Old Child Now Goes By Zaya
With all of the obstacles that exist within our society, it’s incredible to see 13-time NBA All-Star and former player, Dwyane Wade and his wife Gabrielle Union empowering their pre-teen, Zaya, to live her truth.
Wade recently appeared on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” to promote the upcoming ESPN documentary D Wade: Life Unexpected. Following a clip from the documentary, he shared that his middle child, formerly known as Zion, now identifies as “her” and goes by the name Zaya.
As DeGeneres praised him for his support of Zaya, Wade replied, “Me and my wife Gabrielle Union are proud parents of a child in the LGBTQ+ community. And we are proud allies as well. We take our roles and our responsibility as parents very seriously.”
He went on to share that Zaya expressed her desire to live her truth at 9-years-old. “I don’t know if everyone knows, originally named Zion, born as a boy — came home and said, ‘Hey, I want to talk to you guys. I think going forward I’m ready to live my truth. I want to be referenced as she and her, I would love for you guys to call me Zaya,” he explained.
Immediately the parents began to educate themselves and seek advice from members of the LGBTQ+ community, Union reaching out to the cast of the popular FX series, Pose. For Wade, it’s all about giving her “the best opportunity to be her best self” while preparing her to live life openly.
According to Wade, “Once Zaya came home and said, ‘I want you to call me Zaya and I’m ready to take on this,’ I looked at her and said, ‘You are a leader. And this is our opportunity to allow you to be a voice.’ Right now it’s through us, because she’s 12 years old, but eventually, it will be through her.”
For more on his journey post-career and as the father of an openly gay pre-teen, tune in to D Wade: Life Unexpected. The ESPN documentary airs Sunday, February 23rd.
Welcome to Uncle Tom’s Haus of Koonery
So in light of the great news of President Trump getting impeached. I was sent an article from a few twitter mutuals of an interview done by Mikelle Street interviewing everyone’s favorite problematic porn star Max Konner. I knew at that moment I would not receive any peace this week. The article at hand denoted that Konner was beginning his own talent agency for people of color. I did a double-take, but I been on this earth long enough to know a stunt when I see one. In the article, Konnor mentioned the need for porn actors of color needing proper tutelage and education before entering the pornography industry. Which I do agree with, but we also know that seeing the phrasing “people of color” does not mean black people and why would Konner exclusively help his own people? He wouldn’t, but that’s been made very clear that he has no intention of helping the Black LGBTQIA+ community after his behavior during the PR nightmare which and is still NoirMale.com.
I have to be honest that I found the interview to be amazing and at minimal a cross-examination of Konner’s work history, work ethics, and very sorted and messy racially insensitive history. Konner acknowledges that there will be criteria for all those that apply to join the slaveshi-, sorry the Haus of Konner.
He says in the article:
“Right now we have three exclusives: Derek Cline, Jabari Clutch, and Asher Lee. I have a bunch of other submissions but I’m taking my time to go through everything because it is a boutique talent management company. I am not just accepting everybody that applies. I’m trying to pick models who I feel like have what it takes to make it.”
Now, what this statement could subversively say so many things. Firstly, Jabari is the only black presenting model. Derek is racially ambiguous and Asher is Asian. Even in the first stride of selection, there is only one Black person in the mix (pun intended). Secondly, “boutique talent management company” is reading as “no fats, no fem” because knowing the shortness of sight that Konner has he may only present body boys and cis actors that are racially palatable.
Mr. Street follows up with the question:
“The release says that you all are prioritizing “models of color.” Are you referencing all models of color, specifically Black models, or will it be all models with an emphasis on models of color?”
Konner responds with:
“As of right now we are looking at all models of color. I’m trying to decide if I want to have one or two models that don’t necessarily fit that because in doing this I don’t want to become the problem that I’m trying to fight. There are so many avenues and so many arenas where we as models of color are shut down or shut out because of the color of our skin, and I don’t want this to be a thing where we say: OK it’s all models of color and anyone who is not that, get out. So I’m still toying around that, but right now we are exclusively models of color.”
My thoughts are that this is basically saying that “I’m gonna have some good ole boys in the club because I don’t want massa upset with me none.” I’m just saying. Rather than doing the right and altruistic thing and doing an all-black agency. Konner is going to appease the comfort of his white fan base in spite of the fact his black fan base was there for him when he was the porn actor Isaiah Foxx. Which if anything he owes that little boy the world because Konner is fully aware and present on the issues that BLACK porn actors face and what Isaiah a black bottom porn actor felt.
The thing that is further disturbing in the article is when Konnor says this:
“I do plan to send models from Haus of Konnor over to Noir Male but one of my big things is: if I send a model to a studio there’s agreement between me and that studio that nothing that has to do with that model’s race or nothing pertaining to the “BBC experience” is what that model is participating in. I’ve been on jobs where I’ve had no clue what I’ve been working on and then the movies come out and it’s like ‘Oh god!’”
This sounds very historically familiar. So during the slave trade, the Caribbean Islands was used as a large space for sex farms for slaves and “buck breaking”.
Noted on RacistReport.org:
“These male slaves were purchase based entirely on the prerequisite of them possessing a large penis. Black men were routinely raped by their gay slave owners. The process was known as “breaking the buck.”
It involves a strapping Negro slave, who was defiant, was beaten with a whip till bloody in front of his entire slave congregation. The slave owner would cut down a tree and, with the help of the overseer, would then pummel the deviant “buck” into submission. Once the slave was worn down, the master had the other Negro slaves force him over the tree stump where his britches would be removed and he laid fully exposed buttocks, he would remove his own clothing and proceeded to savagely sodomize the buck in front his wife, family, friends, and children.”
Konnor is basically handing these gentlemen over to a problematic porn company ran by the also very racially problematic DJ Chi Chi LaRue. After the debacle with PrEP/U=U advocate, #TakedownTina activist, and now amateur porn actor Jacen Zhu. He stepped away from the company for their purposeful mishandling of race in the studio. We can not trust that Konner will have good intentions.
So let’s be clear. Is there a race issue in gay porn? Absolutely.
Should there be a space cultivated for porn actors of color to get jobs and to be treated fairly? Yes ma’am.
Should there be a space cultivated for black porn actors of color to get jobs and to be treated fairly? Yes sir!
Should Konner be the one doing it? No, not at this juncture and especially around his limited education on race.
Konnor has clearly acknowledged that there is a problem, which is good for him I guess. I just understand that there needs to be more work done to supplant footing for black LGBTQIA+ porn actors of all genders and body types and this attempt is half-cocked, lazy, and wildly remedial. He participating in the same foolish stunting that Noir Male did as well at their inception.
Rumpur: The 1st Dating App for Every GBTQ Person of Color
Rumpur is a mobile gay dating app for gay, bisexual, trans and queer people of color and the people who love them. Rumpur was founded by Garfield Wright who was inspired by his adult son because he faced bigotry and discrimination while navigating other popular gay dating apps. So Garfield created this platform so that his son and other gay ethnic men of color can have a safe space to date without being degraded on a daily basis.
Rumpur is a new app that has been featured on a podcast called BrothaSpeak and OnlinePersonalsWatch.com which features information about all the new dating sites hitting the market.
Rumpur is free to download and includes features such as grid or swipe browsing and free messaging. Rumpur is also the first gay dating app in America to incorporate video chat which makes catfishing a non-factor!
There are a few dating apps out there that present a false image of being black-owned. Rumpur is 100% black-owned The gay, bisexual, trans and queer community can be somewhat segregated and Rumpur is here to level the playing field.
You can download Rumpur on both Playstore and iOS platforms. Visit the website: www.rumpur.com
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