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Domestic Violence Awareness Month

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By the time you finish reading this paragraph, nearly 20 people will become victims of domestic violence. Over the course of one year, that will equal more than 10 million people. Whether you are a victim or know a victim, domestic violence affects us all. October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. Let this be a time to heal, to be aware, and work towards prevention.

What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, threats, and emotional abuse.

Who are the victims of domestic violence?
Anyone can be the victim of domestic violence.
1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will be the victim of some form of physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime.
1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
1 in 7 women and 1 in 18 men have been stalked by an intimate partner during their lifetime to the point in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed.
1 in 6 women and one in 14 men experienced contact sexual violence by an intimate partner during their lifetime.
Children are victims too.
1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence.

What are the long-term effects of domestic violence?
For the victims who survive, domestic violence is a lasting trauma. Domestic violence has been linked to depression and suicidal behavior. Other issues linked to domestic violence include unintended pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth, nutritional deficiency, abdominal pain and other gastrointestinal problems, neurological disorders, chronic pain, disability, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as diseases such as hypertension, cancer, and cardiovascular diseases. Victims of domestic violence are also at higher risk for developing addictions to alcohol, tobacco, or drugs.

Is there any way to prevent domestic violence?
No victim should be blamed for domestic violence, as no one chooses to be abused. Increasing awareness and providing support for those who are abused is the best way to prevent domestic violence.
Know the signs. While some signs of domestic violence may not show up until months into a relationship, some signs are there from the beginning:
Being jealous of your friends or time spent away from your partner
Discouraging you from spending time away from your partner
Embarrassing or shaming you
Controlling all financial decisions
Making you feel guilty for all the problems in the relationship
Preventing you from working
Intentionally damaging your property
Threatening violence against you, your pets or someone you love to gain compliance
Pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to
Intimidating you physically, especially with weapons

Leaving an abusive relationship is sometimes easier said than done. Leave if you can safely. Leaving a domestic abuse relationship is often the most dangerous time for a victim. Of those victims, the danger can be more serious for racially and sexually marginalized communities.

Write everything down.
If you are in an abusive relationship, document everything. Write down the dates, times, take pictures. All this information will be useful when filing a police report or a court case.

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Advice

My Solitude Journey: Alone Time is a Necessity

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If you’re anything like me, you’re probably never alone. Whether it’s hanging out with friends, your boo, or even family, you always have the desire to be around someone. Believe it or not, a lot of people are afraid to be alone. And when we are we’re usually indulged in social media, still finding a way to be around people. I had no idea I was this kind of person until someone jokingly said to me, “You’re never by yourself.” Of course I joked back, but my mind really started to wonder, “Why do I hate being alone?”. I was eager to understand this, so I decided to take a break from people for two weeks. I’ll admit the first few days were a STRUGGLE, but the overall outcome was amazing. Don’t get what I’m saying confused, it’s okay to want people around, but it’s also important to make time for just yourself. Here’s what my solitude journey taught me:

  • EASE YOUR MIND: When you’re constantly on the go and “on” all of the time, your brain has no time to rest and restore itself. I was able to really focus and think clearer than I usually would. I also found myself making decisions the way I wanted to instead of the way my friends wanted me to.

  • KNOW YOURSELF: Spending time alone allowed me to better understand who I am, what I want, and who I truly need in my life. A lot of the times we hang around people whom we know are no good for us, just to say we have friends. Remember, QUALITY OVER QUANTITY..get rid of the dead weight.

  • WORK HARDER: This was actually the first thing I noticed during this journey..my productivity skyrocketed. I was waking up early to go to the gym, getting to work 15-minutes before it was time to clock in, and was REALLY able to focus more on writing and schoolwork. I was noticeably more creative as well because my mind kept going every which way. A bit of privacy can go a lonnnnnng way!

  • MENTAL WARRIOR: Solitude gave me the ability to build mental strength. There was a time when I’d get really sad and depressed whenever I was alone because to me, it meant I had no friends or no one wanted to be around me. But this time I was happy, stress free, and able to tolerate being by myself.

 

Balance is key when it comes to solitude and everyone can benefit from it. Though I’m stressing the importance of being alone, you don’t want to spend TOO much time alone.

Are you on a solitude journey? Let us know how it benefited you!

 

 

 

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Entertainment

Wendy Williams Gives Health Update After Cancelling Shows for the Week

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Wendy Williams is taking some time off and decided to cancel her shows for the week to rest up. She, of course, says it’s nothing to worry about and that she feels “Flu-ish” or whatever that means.

“It’s not the flu yet, but I feel flu-ish.” as she swallows her spit. “It’s not a five on a scale of one to five, it’s not even a four.”

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Take off sick? What? No. Never,” she said. Was it me or was her eyeball twitching in the video? I have so many questions. Is this the best footage the can provide? Did they purposely post unclear footage so we couldn’t see what she truly looked like? Maybe I’m overthinking, but something isn’t right and hasn’t been right with Wendy for a minute.

As you can remember, during her Halloween special she allegedly overheated and fainted in her costume live on air. There have been other times when Wendy has forgotten what she was talking about and other things. Sources have said that the situation with her husband allegedly having a long time mistress has caused her a lot of stress.

We hope Wendy takes the time to take care of herself.

 

 

What do you think of Wendy taking the week off for the ‘flu-ish’?

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Why We Should All Watch the Winter Olympics 2018

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Today, the opening ceremony for the Winter Olympics was held in South Korea. The opening ceremony is the commencement of a week-long event that is the most watched sporting event across the globe. Even though I am not a sports fanatic, I think it’s important that we tune in. This year there are several firsts for persons of color in the United States and in other countries. Geographically, darker skinned persons are closer to the equator, which means most of us live in areas of warmth.  The farther you go from the equator, the less black/brown people you see which is probably why it is uncommon to see persons of color competing in winter/snow/ice sports. A few years ago, a friend of mine asked me if I was interested in going on a ski trip and this was my reaction:

Personally, I have an aversion to cold weather and snow, so I was not interested! There’s this notion that all black people must feel this way and of course, that’s not true. But once it hits around 60 degrees in the deep south where I’m from, we pull out our faux fur snow boots from Shoe Carnival, bubble jackets from Wish.com, and thermal shirts from Old Navy just to take out the trash. 

Anyway, I said all that to say that despite the stereotype, black people are still showing up and out at the 2018 Winter Olympics. As a kid, I remember being awe watching the figure skaters twirl in their beautiful outfits with such grace, I never thought I could be one since, at that time, none of them looked like me. According to Buzzfeed, “Of the 2,952 athletes competing at this year’s Winter Olympics, only 41 (1.39-percent) of those athletes are black”. Isn’t that something?

This year Maame Biney, the first African-American speed skater to qualify for Team USA will be in the competition. Also, the first Nigerian bobsled team which consists of Seun Adigun, Akuoma Omeoga, and Ngozi Onwumere will be in the running for the gold. Next, Elana Meyers Taylor will return for the third time to represent the U.S. in bobsledding, the most ever for a woman of color. Shani Davis is also a returning medalist who will be competing in the speed skating competition, representing the U.S. Akwasi Frimpong is another highly anticipated first-time Olympian who is representing Ghana in the sport called Skeleton. This is only a brief list, but needless to say, black people across the globe are showing out per usual and I’m excited to see it.

The Olympics are being broadcast on NBC and it’s available to stream online 24/7. You can watch from your laptop, phone or any internet enabled device. Check it out by clicking HERE.

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