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An Open Letter To F*ck Boys Who Think They’re Good Dudes

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Momma always said, “You will know when you’re tired.” Well, I’m tired. Tired as hell. Tired of dating men who think they’re good dudes but are honestly just f*ck boys with pretty smiles. Hear me out real quick…

I’m a gay black man who’s been single for four years now or maybe five, but who’s counting at this point? I’m sure my people can relate as well. I am so tired of dating men who seem good until two weeks down the line they hit you with the flex. If it ain’t the “I’m not ready for a relationship.” or “We might be moving too fast.” … I just don’t know what to do.

“I thought we were just chilling.”

Well, nigga, I’m cold and I’m not interested in a blanket that only keeps me warm twice a week. I want a consistent blanket that’s clean, feels good and smells good.

Dating has become somewhat of a full-time job with no benefits. Even if I make it past the 90-day window of no sex, I’m still likely to be fired or let go. Personally, I think the 90-day thing is stupid, but that’s another story, we’re focused on F*ck Boys specifically.

I live in the black gay mecca of Atlanta, Georgia. I’m supposed to be on dates with good-looking guys every weekend. All that dating can be very expensive. The thing about dating in Atlanta is that there is more trash for you to go through before you find out that you didn’t throw your wallet away it’s under the bed. Looking in all of the wrong places.

I think there is a star for every time I thought the chemistry and conversation were going well with a guy only to be told: “I like you and you’re a good dude but I got a lot going on right now.” Bruh you knew this before we started talking in the beginning though. You knew you had a lot going on so why did you waste my time and yours?! Life will always hand you things. It couldn’t have been too much going for you to be wanting to lay up. I honestly do not believe that something clicks all of sudden honestly, you’re just a f*ck boy that wants someone to think you’re a good dude until things start to get somewhat ‘serious’.

“WHY DO YOU BOTHER ME WHEN YOU DON’T WANT ME!” 

If you watched Insecure, you can remember back to Season 2, Episode 3 when Tasha obliterated Lawrence for ghosting on her. She ate him up via phone from miles away. She did it for us who deal with men like Lawrence every day. The ones who know exactly what they want but scared to articulate because they’re enjoying the moment until something shows that it’s time to get real. Nothing just happens overnight. Tasha knew exactly what she was getting into and she just wasn’t here for Lawrence trying to make it seem like they were moving too fast. It wasn’t that to her, it was the fact that he stood her up and tried to apologize for being a f*ck boy.

Quit acting as if you are sorry because you’re not. You’re sorry that the time has come for it to be real now you want it to shut it down. To be fair some of these individuals are probably too scared to commit. Pay attention because this is where it gets funny. Often times, we mention that’s what we wanted in the beginning of the dating process. If I’ve mentioned that I would like a relationship eventually why didn’t you just leave from the beginning?  Why is it after this happens you often find out they’re in a relationship two months later?

F*ckboys ain’t shit basically.

If you don’t want me then don’t talk to me. Free me from these prisons of lies and wasted energy. Just tell the truth, be real from the jump. But it’s to be expected from f*ckboys. They don’t care about your feelings as long as they can apologize and feel like they did the right thing. If you did the right thing you would’ve let that be known in the beginning.

 

What can we do to avoid them? Probably not shit. We can start by sending them this article for shade purposes.

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For The Culture

Match Black Women brings Hi-tech Love to Matchmaking Services

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Match Black Woman brings Hi-tech Love to Matchmaking Services
New dating site offers innovative solutions for Black women 

Atlanta, GA: MatchBlackWoman.com offers dating and networking solutions for women of African ancestry to find compatible suitors. An innovating dating service, the site offers membership levels and business opportunities to not only connect with others, but monetize their time and investment.

Built on the belief that voluntarily connecting people who share common interests can lead to greater compatibility, the platform seeks to propose a solution by bridging the gap of a tough online dating market while providing a service for individuals who have an interest in dating Black Women.

The site has a number of features designed to help seekers find a potential mate. Women can meet single men, network with other women, receive matchmaking services, video chat, and participate in forums. There are also unique search options based on music preferences, eating habits, lifestyle, and more.

MatchBlackWomen.com is a social networking dating site designed from a womanist perspective. It includes the interests of women and includes forums to discuss issues relating to Black women and the broader community. It’s time we had our own space. This is a way to make things fun, interesting, and connect with like-minded people.

There are three membership options: Free, Gold, and Black Diamond. Free members can create a profile, post three photos and conduct member searches. The Gold level allows members to add up to six photos, send and receive unlimited messages, video chat, post on an activity wall, have access to forums and news, and set privacy limits. The premium Black Diamond level has all the features of the Gold level, with unlimited photos.

Business people have an added incentive: become an affiliate! Earn 55% commission per signup, making finding true love while getting paid even better! For more information on the site, or to express interest in the business opportunity, contact [email protected].

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Mom Gets Criticized for Showing Toddlers Kissing on The Mouth

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Mother of 3, Ashlee Muhammed receives backlash for her parenting skills, due to a viral video of her twin boys kissing on the lips.

Although most people seemed to think that the video showed an innocent sign of affection, others were not feeling the brotherly love.

All You NEED Is LOVE 🌹@supernovaandjetman

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One follower called Muhammed’s parenting skills reckless, despite her intended message.

Majority of the negative comments were received by black men.

They accused Muhammed of highlighting perversion and sexuality amongst toddlers. However, Muhammed defends her video.

She states that “The World needs more love like this”.

What are your thoughts, did she take brotherly love too far?

In the African-American community, it seems like we’re so afraid to teach boys to show affection because we’re in fear of them being gay. However, that’s a disturbing label to put on toddlers.

Do you think this warranted the drag session she received in the comments? She decided not to take the video down despite its controversy.

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Money Moves: New Year’s Financial Checklist Part 2

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Thanks for checking out Part 1, and we’re back with Part 2!  Let’s get to it!

Do you have savings?  This may sound like a silly question, but it may surprise you.  Did you know that 57% of Americans have less than $1000 in savings?  Are you included in that group?  If so, don’t feel bad.  You can turn this around.  The old saying is “plan for a rainy day”.  Well my new saying is “plan for a tsunami”.  An emergency fund of $1000 is a great place to start for savings. This will come in handy to pay for unexpected car repairs or medical bills, or an array of actual “emergencies”. $1000 may seem like a lot, but if you could put away $20 a week for one year you can attain this goal.

After you have allocated your emergency fund, you can focus on your general savings. A great way to save is to set savings goals.  Do you want to buy a new house? Are you in the market for a new car?  Perhaps you’ve been eyeing a new designer bag or shoes.  Whatever it may be, set savings goals and be diligent about achieving them.

Also, did the holidays hit you hard?  Have you been dying to take that trip to Dubai?  Creating a holiday fund account can ease the unnecessary stress of Christmas shopping, and reduce the risk of going into debt.  Summer will be here before you know it.  If you start saving now in a vacation account, you can take that dream vacation and do it in style.

 

Stay tuned for Part 3!  Have questions? We love to help!  Leave a comment or for more specific questions, email me at [email protected]

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