Connect with us

With Thanksgiving coming soon! Not only have Struggle Plates been on my mind, but who gets fed first? Do you fix your husband a plate first or do you fix your children’s plate first?




imageI would think you feed your kids first considering they might not be able to just yet. On the other hand, your husband might be the primary source of income in the household. The husband might need to be fed first so he can have the energy to be able to make money to support the household. Although, at the same time, children are growing and need all the nourishment they can get. Now, I don’t have a man and I don’t know who should eat first. You all need to help me.

Also, what do you do when Ebony to fixes your husband a plate while you were in the restroom? So many questions! I need answers!

Can a man fix his on plate? Personally I wouldn’t if he is expecting it, but I don’t have a man lol.

Do we keep it old shool and pooch to the kitchen and fix your man a plate or do you say he can get his on?


Ladies who do you feed first? Be HONEST and help JustinJ out…





  1. Melanie

    November 26, 2015 at 1:32 am

    I’m traditional, so my husband to me it’s a respect thing

  2. Keisha

    November 26, 2015 at 2:20 am

    my husband and I both agree that are children come before us but I usually either serve them simultaneously or hubby first then my babies.

  3. Oodie

    November 26, 2015 at 2:44 am

    I’m glad I don’t have these issues because I’m not fixing another grown ass able bodied person’s plate. If that is a factor of love, y’all can have that shit. Besides, kids matter more to me anyway, so they’d be eating first if I had any. Either he fixes his own plate or starve, but I’m eating.

    • Petranilla

      November 26, 2015 at 1:09 pm

      He’s better get his arse up and serve himself ESPECIALLY if I did all the cooking without help!! I am tired!!!!!!!!

      • Mindie

        November 30, 2015 at 5:14 pm

        I agree!

      • Anne

        December 1, 2015 at 6:20 am

        Agree. I’m not making shit. I done stood up and cooked all this shit, you make my plate!

      • Tj

        October 8, 2016 at 10:32 pm

        You black aint you?

    • Danielle

      December 10, 2015 at 12:20 pm


  4. BinkiBianca

    November 26, 2015 at 3:17 am

    I believe the husband should be fed first. He’s the head of the family.

    • Tierra

      November 26, 2015 at 4:58 am

      I have to agree! Me as a mother and wife I usally fix my husband’s plate first then my two children. It’s not like it’s only enough food for just my husband. Everybody gets fed and its only like a minute between when my husband gets his plate and when my kids receive theirs. My husband will fix his own plate and ours no problem if necessary. That’s how I grew up seeing my grandmother fix my grandfather’s plate and she still does to this day.

  5. Sherry

    November 26, 2015 at 5:34 am

    I fix my stepson’s plate and then my husband’s at home. If we are out eating at someone else’s, we all usually make our own. I don’t know what kind of dishes they may or may not want that someone else cooked. They might want to try something that I might not realize. I also make my 75 year old mama a plate, even though she gets around just fine and is studying that vodka cocktail more than a plate. I don’t mind making men’s plates, however, grown ass, able bodied people really do need to make their own plates. Happy Thanksgiving, Justin and all the Jays!

  6. Jessica Holland

    November 26, 2015 at 6:17 pm

    Everyone should fix their own plate.. unless they are physically unable to do so

  7. CandE

    November 27, 2015 at 12:10 am

    Good article Justin. This is a good question, and since I don’t have a man either I’ll reference my knowledge of married women in my family. I believe you feed your husband first unless he insist you make the kids plates first. Lol better beat cousin faith to it.

  8. Danielle J

    November 27, 2015 at 4:37 pm

    If I had a man, I wouldn’t fix his plate for him since he do have two fucking hands and legs that work perfectly good…

    • Vera

      November 29, 2015 at 5:16 pm

      Lol! I’m with you on the two fucking hands lol

    • Tj

      October 8, 2016 at 10:33 pm

      Thats why you dont have one.

  9. Renee S.

    November 28, 2015 at 1:25 am

    Look Ladies,

    We live in the year of 2015 and things are going to change every year for us women and the next generation of women. Me personally, I would fix my children’s plate first because as being a full time mother all day they deserve it more than we do because we made that sacrifice to have kids in the first place. When Women have kids, everything changes in our lives physically, mentally, and emotionally when it comes to having children so by being a full time mother making sure they eat first is very important. Now however being traditional is not a bad thing, but as the year changes…were doing things differently now which is focusing more on feeding our kids first. Now to makes this simple and so easy to accomplish just feed your whole family and they will be happy. 🙂 I hope I sum this up well for ya’ll to understand.

  10. moniee

    November 29, 2015 at 12:27 am

    I don’t have either but, I would fix the kids plate first knowing that it involves knives and cutting and such then fix the mans plate. At then end of the day when we sit at the table everybody is suppose to wait until all plates are served, say grace, then eat so it really shouldn’t be that much of an issue if the man have to wait for his plate anyways.

  11. Vera

    November 29, 2015 at 5:15 pm

    We just pass the dishes around. When my grandfather was alive, we had to do it in counterclockwise. Don’t ask me why cause I still don’t get it. But anyway- husband sits at head of table and he gets what’s passed to him. An adult is sitting between children to help them. I’m usually sitting closest to the kitchen so I can get up 5 billion times for things I’ve forgotten.

  12. LC

    November 30, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    I haven’t seen a man have his “plate fixed” in my family since my great grandfather was still alive.

  13. Mindie

    November 30, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    Depending on age I think children should be first. After that I feel whom ever cooked the meal should be next. I have been married almost 19 years, together 21 yeats. I have probably fixed my husbands plate a dozen times. That was only because he had had knee surgery. Fixing your mans plate is not key to a happy marriage.

  14. Anne

    December 1, 2015 at 6:22 am

    That’s what’s wrong with this country. Women always putting themselves last. I’m not with that serving a man shit. I’m just not.

  15. Tanisha

    December 3, 2015 at 2:43 pm

    When I was growing up, my grandmother would always fix my grandfather’s plate before we could fix our own plate. Sometimes he just wouldn’t eat if she wasn’t home to fix his plate. Now that I have a family of my own, I cook and I fix my children’s plates first. It is my job as their mother to take care of them. My husband isn’t left out. I do cook!! He’ll it’s woman that don’t even do that..

  16. Danielle

    December 10, 2015 at 12:23 pm

    Yeah, I feed the 2 men of my home first, meaning before me. The 2 men are my 2 boys Kingston and Kendall. All my kids eat first in my home. I don’t have a man but if I did that ass is not a priority to eating before my kids.

  17. Lauren C

    March 21, 2016 at 12:50 pm

    There is nothing wrong with fixing your hard working husband a plate. Now if you have a grown ass man that does nothing, that’s a different story. To each their own, but I serve my husband first, then my kids, then myself, but we all eat at the same time so…

You must be logged in to post a comment Login

Leave a Reply

For The Culture

Jay-Z, Colin Kaepernick, and Toxic Black Capitalism




Jay-Z’s recent decision to align himself with the NFL has rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. And for good reason. Colin Kaepernick has been blackballed by the league for 897 days. With no sign of him returning, despite maintaining a rigorous fitness regime, many are wondering why Jay-Z did not consult Kaepernick before signing on.

Five am workouts five days a week for three long years. Colin Kaepernick has been waiting in the wings since the NFL colluded to bar him from playing amidst player protests. Eric Reid, who stood beside Kaep in solidarity, has been subjected to excessive random drug tests for just as long. As season after season dredges on, Eric says he has no desire to refrain from protesting and has pledged to kneel during the national anthem this year as well. With NFL viewership in steady decline due to boycotts within the Black community, the league has reached out to an unlikely partner to repair their image and boost their ratings, Jay-Z.


A one-time supporter of the national anthem protests that brought awareness to blatant police brutality, Jay-Z has decided that there’s no time like the present to profit from his brother’s struggle. Billionaire rapper Jay-Z has brokered a deal with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. The Roc Nation mogul is now positioned to serve as a gatekeeper, deciding who’s worthy to take the stage as a Super Bowl halftime act. As the internet reflects on Jay’s very vocal criticism of the NFL and recent Super Bowl Halftime Show performers, the irony and hypocrisy of this situation is lost on no one.

“Don’t Do This”

When news of Travis Scott’s participation in the 2019 Halftime Show reached Jay-Z’s ears, he was quick to ask the “Sicko Mode” rapper not to perform. Citing the poor treatment of Colin Kaepernick as the league turned a blind eye to police brutality, Jay-Z urged Travis to change his stance. But now, the “4:44” rapper is the one that’s turned the other cheek. Stating, “we’re past the point of kneeling”, Jay has all but embraced the ideals of his peers. Considering this partnership an opportunity to change the beast from the inside, Jay said in a recent interview that “this is the next phase.”

“We forget that Colin’s whole thing was to bring attention to social injustice. In that case, this is a success. This is the next phase. There [are] two parts of protesting. You go outside and you protest, and then the company or the individual says, ‘I hear you. What do we do next?”

Ever the capitalist, Jay-Z has turned the ostracism of Kaepernick and scrutiny of Reid into a means of personal profit. While preaching Black solidarity, he cradles the all-mighty dollar. To onlookers, this poses a moral dilemma, but we forget billionaires often lack morals and have questionable ethics. While it is unlikely that Kaepernick will respond with his thoughts on the matter, his longtime girlfriend, Nessa, and Eric Reid have made their thoughts known.

You can’t trust a man who cheated on Beyoncé to make good life choices

Eric Reid took to Twitter yesterday afternoon to chastise Jay-Z for his decision. Stating, “Jay-Z knowingly made a money move with the very people who’ve committed an injustice against Colin and is using social justice to smooth it over with the black community,” Reid says the fight is on. He believes that it is “unjust” that the NFL is now “championing” social justice to cover their own systemic oppression in blackballing his former teammate. What Nessa has to say was much more scathing.

Sharing a video on Instagram of her boyfriend, Colin Kaepernick, training with his ally, former 49er Eric Reid, Nessa included a lengthy statement regarding Jay-Z’s decision.

View this post on Instagram

We will never turn our backs on @kaepernick7 because your idols decided to work with the same organization that is actively keeping Colin unemployed all because he peacefully protested against social injustice in black and brown communities, specifically police brutality. So really, how can Jay-Z and the NFL utter social justice in their partnership while keeping Colin unemployed because of his social justice work? • • It’s typical for the NFL to buy different PR looks to cover up their dirt-that’s nothing new. But what is disgusting and disappointing is Jay-Z let them use him. Whether Jay-Z knew it or not (I don’t doubt his intelligence-so I would think he knew) he helped the NFL bury who he said is an iconic figure, Colin Kaepernick. • • Don’t tell me there’s a “master plan and wait for it” because the ONLY reason anything would ever change is because THE PEOPLE are loud and clear and won’t let the league buy their loyalty with their disingenuous moves. The people are letting the league and anyone who works with them know that they aren’t buying the bs. • • Thank you all so much for showing Colin so much support and love. I know for myself, I can’t thank y’all enough for loving my family. • #imwithkap #nokapnonfl ❤️❤️❤️ • • #RP: @kaepernick7: ‪You never turned your back on me or the people, even when the nfl tried to silence your voice & the movement. You’ve never flinched or wavered. I love you Brother! Let’s get it! @E_Reid35‬ ‪ And to the people – I see you, I hear you and I love you! Thank you for having my back!!!✊🏾‬ • • 🎥: @relrelrelrel @djtonedef

A post shared by NESSA (@nessnitty) on

Knowing that Jay-Z is helping the NFL rebrand itself is disheartening but predictable. After all, he is a prominent figure in the Black community. It was inevitable that the league would reach out to a “respected” rapper to leverage his image to increase viewership. In fact, it’s the same strategy they used when they reached out to Travis Scott. The only difference here is that Jay-Z is well within the ranks of the wealthy, privy to those dubious politics, and versed in the manipulation of exploiting his own community for financial gain.

Do you believe that Jay-Z’s efforts will lead to further dissension in the NFL? Or will his position as a gatekeeper lead to a fitting resolution? Do you think his relationship with Robert Kraft influenced his decision?



Continue Reading

For The Culture

Merited Whiteness: Why Chris Cuomo Responded Violently to “Fredo”




Instead of talking about the obvious wrong of comparing “Fredo” to the n-word, let’s discuss merited Whiteness and Cuomo’s response.

While out with his family, Chris Cuomo was accosted by a man who compared him to the Judas Iscariot of the Corleone family, Fredo Corleone. It’s easy to see why Chris would have perceived the sudden hurling of “Fredo” as an insult, who wouldn’t. Fredo was a man out of his depth. He was intelligent, sure. But he lacked the cunning necessary to navigate life in the mafia. Fredo was a soft-hearted, loveable idiot who said more than he should have to the wrong people. His unintentional slight got him in trouble with a community that felt entitled to his allegiance. This is the very same entitlement that possessed a stranger to believe he held the authority to pull Chris Cuomo’s merited whiteness card.

Fredo’s offense in many ways is seen as something lateral to Chris Cuomo’s presence as a journalist at CNN. The child of the 52nd Governor of New York and brother of the current Governor, who is a staunch critic of Republican politicians and their constituents, Chris stands on the wrong side, to some, in a fight for “American Values.” He is outspoken and detached from his beginnings as a political analyst on Fox News. Being the descendant of a family that is only two generations removed from their Tramonti, Campania Italian origins, The Cuomo’s represent a side of American history that is not often discussed, the assimilation of European immigrants to American whiteness.

When Italians began immigrating to the US, they were not looked upon favorably. But like the Irish and members of other European communities, they united in their “othered” state to gain acceptance, overcome their backgrounds, and race toward the American Dream. But the American Dream isn’t a big house with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a dog, it’s whiteness. To be White is to be distinctly American, devoid of cultural attachments and devoted to racial supremacy. But like the Borg, whiteness requires assimilation and shared consciousness. Like their hive-minded chant, Magats would also believe “Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.”

For families like the Cuomo’s, who were privileged enough to own a business and accumulate wealth shortly after their arrival, the trajectory to acceptance was higher than most. As Henry Pratt Fairchild said when discussing the bestowed privileges of whiteness to immigrants, “If he proves himself a man, and rises above his station, and acquires wealth, and cleans himself up — very well, we receive him after a generation or two. But at present, he is far beneath us, and the burden of proof rests with him.” So how, after a single generation, did the Cuomo’s ascend their station? By becoming fast friends with the Trump family.

After Mario Cuomo represented Fred Trump in an undisclosed legal matter, their families maintained contact. Golfing trips in Florida and New York, letters filled with flattery, and partnerships that benefitted the Trumps as developers and the Cuomos political ambitions. Beyond the business relationships of the two families, you have to wonder what values they grew to share. Judging by a 2008 remark regarding Barack Obama where Andrew spouted “You can’t shuck and jive at a press conference.” and Chris’ false equivalence of Fredo and the n-word, they share quite a few. Still, you must wonder why “Fredo” would elicit such a response from Chris. Is it because he feels his status demands subordination? Is it because he felt his whiteness was challenged?

Perceiving the use of “Fredo” as an anti-Italian slur, Chris Cuomo found himself feeling as immigrants did upon their arrival to the “land of dreams.” As explored by Maria Elisa Altese, there is a perception that Italian-Americans have forgotten what it is like to be targeted. Chris Cuomo has lived comfortably in the US as a white man, never before having his status challenged. As written by Robert F. Forester, in a country where the distinction between white man and black is intended as a distinction of value… it is no compliment to the Italian to deny him his whiteness, but that actually happens with considerable frequency.” So in his rage, Chris expressed how entitled he felt to the benefits of whiteness, it’s inclusivity, and how no one like him wants to be Black.



Continue Reading

For The Culture

Should I Have to Disclose That I’m HIV+ If I’m Undetectable?






Continue Reading