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Black Gay Men Are Not Handbags, They Are People

written by Elizabeth Walker


I am a black, heterosexual, married woman with kids.

I am not sexist because I have a male friend.

I am not racist because I have a black friend, or a white friend, or a Latino friend, or an Asian friend.

I am not homophobic because I have a gay friend.

All of these sentences sound ridiculous.  Utterly ridiculous, as having one friend does not shift your internal belief about a particular gender, race, or sexuality.

I will admit that I have and will probably keep saying something that is offensive, whether it is intentional or not.  It is never my intent to hurt people even when I am hurt.  Yet, I watched along with you Nene on The Real Housewives of Atlanta and cringed when she threw a party titled, “Girls and Gays” or “Girls and Bring A Gay.”  It appears there wasn’t a consensus on the title of the party, and Nene even said that her intent was not to be offensive.  Yet, I don’t care about her intent.  Any person with any common sense would know that this is bottom line offensive.

It was gross.


“A gay male is not a handbag.”


A gay male is not a necklace that goes with my fabulous Tiffany’s earrings. 

A gay male is a male.  A person. 

This party reaffirms how gay males, throughout the years have been exploited for their quick retorts.  NeNe, has made a career off taking the language of her “gay accessories” while giving them no credit.

The fact she threw a party for the girls and the gays is just so offensive on so many levels and how dare people attend!

How can people show up to a party that degraded the very being of a group of people?  I will admit that Derek J confronted her about the name of the party, but Nene just showed you how she felt about gay men – she means you no harm as she uses them to make more money off of their talent.

Nene may not be homophobic, but she is a parasite of black gay men.